"How I Won My Bat" is the sixth short story in the book Tales to Give You Goosebumps.
Michael 'Mike' Burns is useless at baseball. He is approached by a man named Mr. Smith, who offers to lend him a magical bat that will enable him to win a forthcoming game. There is one condition: as soon as the game is finished, he must go straight back and return the bat to the sports museum of which Mr. Smith is in charge. Sure enough, Mike hits every home run and his team win the game easily. Mike wants to go home now, but remembers he must go to the museum. There, Mike finds many realistic-looking statues posing with sports equipment, and is awed.
When Mr. Smith asks him about the bat, Mike becomes desperate and pleads to be allowed to keep it. Mr. Smith agrees and asks him to stand in a spot for a couple of seconds with the bat. Mike obliges, and takes a swing with the bat.
Immediately, there is a bright flash of light and Mike is frozen to the spot as a life-size model. He remains in the museum for months or even years, as he has lost all sense of time. People who come to the museum often pass by the exhibit and admire his swing, which he is pleased about. Mike realizes another benefit to the situation: now, he really will be able to keep the bat forever.
- How I Won My Bat, Something Strange About Marci, and The Double-Dip Horror are all tied for having the lowest page count in the Tales to Give You Goosebumps series, only ten pages each.
- This story contains a typo on the first page. The narrator says, "Things are diferent now" — misspelling the word "different".