Conan Barber, also known as Conan the Barbarian, is an antagonist who appeared in the Goosebumps books Monster Blood II, Monster Blood III and Monster Blood IV, as well as the episode "More Monster Blood".
Monster Blood II
Conan met Evan Ross during the summer before school started. Evan told Conan about his summer, how he had encountered a green substance called Monster Blood, how it came alive and started growing and that his dog, Trigger had eaten some of it and started to grow too. Conan didn't like Evan's story and after staring at him for a long time, he told Evan that they don't like wise guys in Atlanta and then he beat Evan up.
Later at school, after Evan got into trouble with Mr. Murphy the science teacher, Conan tripped him over in the hallway. He pulled Evan to his feet and Evan asked him why he couldn't leave him alone. Conan decided to take advantage of Evan by telling him that he can pay him back by hitting him in the stomach. Evan was hesitant, but Conan urged him on, mocking about Evan with his fist in the process. Evan did hit Conan in the stomach, but he was the one that ended up being in pain, due to Conan having very hard abs. Conan then got Evan in trouble with Mr. Murphy (who had been nearby) by pretending to be in pain and telling him that Evan came and hit him in the stomach for no reason and the teacher sent him to see the nurse. Conan was later in the playground (making it likely that he didn't go to the nurse at all) when Mr. Murphy's class hamster, Cuddles came running about and he caught him. He then found Evan, who was looking for Cuddles (as Evan was cleaning Cuddles' cage as punishment) and asked him if he was looking for Cuddles. Evan was grateful to Conan at first, but then Conan humiliated Evan by telling him he would give him Cuddles if Evan would sing to him. Evan protested, but he never got to do it because Mr. Murphy was coming up; Conan gave him Cuddles, lying to him that he rescued Cuddles as he was going to be run over — thus getting Evan in trouble again.
The next day, after tormenting Evan by tying his shoes together and pouring water on his seat, Conan found him and his friend, Andy, by a creek. His initial disgust at finding out Andy was a girl and had a boy’s name changed to surprise when she asked him what kind of a name Conan was — especially when she returned his challenging stare right back at him; he then asked her if she knew him, to which Andy dryly replied that he was famous.
Conan had also seen a paper brown bag that Evan was carrying and he and Andy were planning to get rid of it; Conan ordered them to hand it to him, lying that he dropped a brown bag there. He told them he saw them put something in it, but Evan insisted that it was still empty. Sure enough it was, because Evan had taken it out, so to show that there were “no hard feelings”, Conan squeezed Evan's hand, snapped Andy's nose and went out of sight. But Conan stuck around because he knew that Evan and Andy had the can of Monster Blood in it, so after they buried it and left, he dug it back up and took it.
Later at gym, Conan gave Evan a really hard time. First he knocked Evan out with a basketball, then he and his teammates, including his friend, Biggie Malick, wouldn't give Evan a chance with the ball and Conan threw him into the basketball net. When Evan was brought down, Conan gave him another painful handshake. The next day, he was in front of Evan's locker talking with Biggie when Evan came over and confronted him about the missing Monster Blood, as he and Andy found it missing. Conan tried to deny it, but seeing it wasn't going to work, he told Evan he would help look for it and he and Biggie locked Evan in his locker and left him there for a long time, making him late for class. Conan later did what he would do at night with his family, unaware that Evan and Andy had come into his room to get the Monster Blood, although he did catch Trigger, Evan's cocker spaniel in his yard during the process. Later at school, he along with some other kids noticed that Cuddles had grown as big as a rabbit, not realizing that Andy had fed him some of the Monster Blood. After Evan once again got in trouble with Mr. Murphy, Conan met him outside his locker and him he was sorry for putting him in his locker and gave Evan another of his bad handshakes, which was enough to anger Evan a lot.
Later on, Conan and the other kids saw that Cuddles had grown a lot bigger since they last saw him. Then the next day, Cuddles grew ten feet tall and started to go on a rampage at the school, terrorizing Conan and the others. Evan, Andy and Mr. Murphy tried to get Cuddles to back down, but their attempts were futile. After a few failures, Cuddles got hold of Conan and started playing around with him and Conan was so terrified that he started to cry. Cuddles played with Conan a little longer until Evan, who had grown into a giant by eating some of the Monster Blood, came to Conan's rescue by pulling him away from the giant hamster. In his terror, Conan raced out of the room while Evan fought Cuddles until they shrank back to their normal size, due to the Monster Blood being old and stale. After that, Conan and all the kids apologized to Evan for not believing him about the Monster Blood. But that didn't stop Conan from continuing to live up to his nickname of Conan the Barbarian.
Conan really lives up to his nickname and he loves being Conan the Barbarian. He loves to strut around and pound kids who weren't his size, which includes everyone. He either does this for fun or when he is angry as Conan can be very temperamental at times and he doesn't like being teased or laughed at, even though he does that himself. There are moments when others actually laughed at his stunts (as they're either laughing with Conan or out of fear with him).
Conan has made Evan his most frequent victim, often beating him up and landing him in trouble, with Evan often being too afraid to stand up to Conan. There are moments though when Evan wouldn't stand for any of Conan's nonsense and would attempt to stand up to him. Conan may be big and athletic, but he is not entirely brave. He is afraid of heights, and there was that moment when a giant Cuddles played around with him. Sometimes he gets so scared that he would start crying and call for his mother. But still, Conan wouldn't let his pride down and he would always show everyone who is boss.
Conan's parents treat him in opposite ways. His mother tends to baby him and offer him more dessert for dinner. Meanwhile his father is far more stern with Conan, often telling him to finish his homework.
Conan is twelve years old, Caucasian, big, strong and athletic with wavy, blond hair, blue eyes and a handsome face. He looks like he is twenty years older. However, in the television series, Conan's hair is brown and spiky.
Television and Film
- Television series:
- Season 2 - More Monster Blood
- Charles Boyland (television series)