Vampire Breath

Freddy is babysitting his neighbor Tyler and telling him a spooky story about how werewolves will come up behind you and breathe down your neck. Freddy climaxes his horrifying story by ruthlessly tickling the poor kid, following that action by turning to tickle his female best friend, Cara, who came over to keep Freddy company. The two wrestle around and then Freddy talks some more about how creepy werewolves are. As Freddy talks about the soft thud of the werewolf's feet, the kids hear a soft thud of footsteps from within the house. It's not really a werewolf at all, but Tyler's parents. Back at Freddy's house, he and Cara pass the time by playing some air hockey in the basement. The game quickly devolves into an actual hockey match as the two kids punch and shove each other around the small room. Freddy pushes Cara into the wall and the two playfully wrestle each other. Eventually Cara accidentally knocks over the large china cabinet, revealing a hidden door. Behind the door the two kids discover a dark tunnel. Reasoning that if you find a secret door leading to a secret tunnel in your basement, you're required to investigate where it leads, the two kids grab some flashlights and make their way down the damp stone tunnel. At the end of the tunnel they find a small room holding an empty coffin. Freddy picks up a small glass bottle inside the coffin and the two kids struggle to read the label on the bottle: "Vampire Breath." The two kids fight over opening the glass bottle, leading them to drop the container. The bottle spills open, spewing out noxious smoke. As the smoke clears, the two kids spy a form inside the coffin: an old man! The bald ghoul blinks his eyes awake and slowly climbs out of the coffin. He announces that he's Count Nightwing, a prominent vampire, and he is very thirsty. The vampire chases the two kids down the tunnel, trapping them at the end when the entry door swings shut. Freddy figures ladies first and lets Count Nightwing attack his friend first, but Nightwing quickly recoils from Cara's neck after he realizes he doesn't have his fangs. Count Nightwing gets furious and makes the kids help him look for the bottle of Vampire Breath they opened. The Vampire Breath is a magical potion that brought Count Nightwing into the future from his own time, and if the kids help him find the bottle, he'll go back to his time and leave them alone. Eventually they find and open the bottle, but the two kids are more than a little miffed to discover that they've been brought back in time with Count Nightwing. Once the fumes fade away, Cara and Freddy find themselves in a large room inside what appears to be a castle. At the top of the high ceiling, yellow moonlight pours in, revealing dozens of coffins. Freddy and Cara hide in the shadows as dozens of vampires emerge from their coffins, turn into bats, and then fly out through the open windows. The two kids try to escape, only to run into Count Nightwing, who is awfully sorry about transporting them back to his time. He tells the kids he'd be happy to help them by turning them into vampires. Freddy and Cara decline the generous offer, but Count Nightwing is insistent that the two help him find his bottle of Vampire Breath. See, the empty bottle was empty in 1996, but in 1896, it's full of Vampire Breath. Count Nightwing explains that every vampire must supplement their diet of blood with daily doses of Vampire Breath. A vampire's private dose of Vampire Breath is highly guarded and kept hidden from the other vampires, only Count Nightwing can't remember where he hid his bottle or his fangs. The count forces the kids to help him look around the castle for the potion. Freddy and Cara split from the count and reason that if they find his bottle of Vampire Breath first, they can use it to zap themselves back to the future. Cara has an even better idea: leave the vampire castle. Unfortunately, all of the windows are either too high or outfitted with black bars to prevent burglars from stealing valuable vampires. As the two kids walk through a vast dining room covered in dust, Cara gets an idea. Cara figures that since the vampires don't eat, they'd have no need for the kitchen, so they can hide out there and figure out their next move. Cara is quite insistent on not becoming a vampire. Inside the kitchen, they spot a window without bars! Freddy jumps up on the ledge and prepares to jump out when he notices his feet are not making contact with the ground. He looks down and sees that the castle is built high atop a cliff. Freddy is saved from falling to his death by a giant bat, which swoops him up back into the kitchen. The man bat transforms back into Count Nightwing, who chides the children on trying to escape and tells them to get back to work looking for his bottle. The kids keep checking room after room in the cavernous castle. Finally they come across another mausoleum lined with empty coffins-- except for one with its lid clamped firmly shut. Inside a hidden pocket in the coffin they find the bottle of Vampire Breath. Before they can make their escape, the two are stopped by a twelve-year-old girl with curly blonde hair. She introduces herself as Gwendolyn and explains that Count Nightwing and the other vampires keep her prisoner in the castle, forcing her to clean their coffins under the threat of turning her into a vampire. Gwendolyn leads the kids down a secret passageway in the castle so they can escape and be spared her ordeal. Once she gets the kids deep within the castle walls, the blonde girl reveals her fangs and attempts to feast on the two friends.

Before Gwendolyn can sink her teeth into Freddy's neck, Count Nightwing, the master of convenient timing, shows up and the 12-year-old vampire girl and the old man vampire duke it out. Freddy and Cara quietly slink out of the passageway and find themselves in a supply closet loaded with empty bottles of Vampire Breath. Count Nightwing shows up and thanks the kids for reminding him where he hid his full bottle: among the empties in the closet. As Nightwing furiously searches for his bottle among the spent vessels, the two kids find it first. But then Count Nightwing swipes it. But then Cara swipes it back and the two kids play Monkey in the Middle with the vampire. Their game goes back and forth over the vampire's head until Count Nightwing simply floats up in the air and grabs the bottle. Only that bottle too is empty, as Freddy made a switch.

Freddy opens the bottle of Vampire Breath and is relieved to see his air hockey table through the thinning smoke. He and Cara are however not relieved to see Count Nightwing came back with them. Nightwing pouts around the basement and complains that he still doesn't have his fangs and he'll starve to death without them. Just then, Freddy's parents barge down the basement stairs. Freddy tells them the old man is a real-life vampire. Freddy's mom tells him to go upstairs to make a sandwich for himself and Cara, because the vampire Count Nightwing is Freddy's grandfather, who was taking a nap. Freddy's mom tells the old man that his fangs are safe, floating in a glass in the secret basement bathroom. Freddy is surprised that not only does he have a grandfather he never knew about, he has a vampire grandfather that his parents kept buried in a secret passageway behind the china cabinet. Freddy and Cara sneak off to the hidden basement bathroom and lock themselves inside. Before the reader is treated to more long, uncomfortable passages of the two wrestling and tickling each other, Cara discovers a bottle marked "Werewolf Sweat.” Cara spills the bottle over the both of them and they begin to loudly growl.