Why I Hate Jack Frost

Why I Hate Jack Frost is a short story in More & More & More Tales to Give You Goosebumps.

Plot
Jared is upset because this Christmas in Arizona will be his first Christmas without snow, or even wintery weather. He hates the plastic Christmas tree and the heat and is having trouble dealing with the change. Inside a little knickknack shoppe he spots a real Christmas tree with decorated with hundreds of old-fashioned ornaments. An old man draws his attention to an ornament depicting an old shack with an elf standing in the doorway. The ornament feels cold in his hands. The clerk tells him that the elf in the doorway is Jack Frost, who brings the cold. The clerk then points to an old copy of Playbill, which brings in 'Da Noise and 'Da Funk.

Jared decides that the new ornament is too nice to waste on the fake Christmas tree and instead hangs it over his bed, hopefully for different reasons than why other boys hang posters over their beds. That night Jared dreams that the a snowstorm has hit his neighborhood. Jack Frost shows up and brings a snowman to life. The snowman challenges Jared to a sledding race. When he wakes up from the dream, he still feels a little cold. He dresses in long sleeves even though it's seventy outside.

The next night he dreams of Jack Frost again. This time the elf goes ice skating with Jared in the Winter Wonderland. When Jared awakes, he's even colder-- even the beams of heat from the window cause him to shiver.

Jared dreams of Jack Frost again, only this time the fun game they play involves getting buried alive in the snow. This has nothing to do withGoosebumps, but one of the things I picked up from some other Young Adult book I read as a kid was that if you're trapped in snow after an avalanche, and you don't know which direction is which, you're supposed to spit and then whatever direction it falls, dig in the opposite direction. I can't tell you how many avalanche-related deaths that piece of knowledge has personally prevented.

Jared wakes up and everything he touches is like ice. He takes the ornament down and throws it into the garbage can outside. That night, Jack Frost becomes quite irate when Jared reveals that he doesn't want to play in the snow. Frost forces him to participate in a snowball fight. Jared complains of being tired and Jack Frost offers to let him take a nap in his cabin. Uh, let's not speculate on what Jack Frost's middle name must be. Before Jared can enter the cabin though, he must help Jack Frost decorate his Christmas tree by retrieving the Christmas ornament from the garbage can. Jared complies and then snuggles up in front of Jack Frost's fireplace.

Jared wakes up and finds himself in the backyard. He's still dressed in winter wear but is now sweltering and begins peeling off the layers as he is now soaked with sweat. I've heard of wet dreams but this is ridiculous. Seriously, take my wife-- please! Jared strips to a single layer but is still hot. He runs and jumps in a neighbor's pool, only the icy water is now boiling hot. Jared realizes this must be another dream and wills himself awake. Only he wakes up back in Jack Frost's cabin.

Jack Frost asks if he had a bad dream and Jared Oh Snaps him by telling the elf that he's the bad dream. Jack Frost doesn't understand though, since Jared lives with him in the cabin. Jared disagrees and tries to tell the elf that he lives in Arizona. Jack Frost shows him the Christmas ornament he dug out of the trash: it's Jared's house in Arizona. Jack Frost tells Jared to get dressed for another snowball fight.