Thread:GoosebumpsArt/@comment-4207976-20170901195539/@comment-28171460-20170906232112

Alright... Haven't quite read it yet, but a few critiques;


 * Use more transition words than "Then". You said it 27 times, which is a bit excessive. As an example, my summary of The Haunter uses "then" 5 times.


 * If you start a sentence with "Then", you'll need to put a comma after it.


 * Your summary was about 8,500 characters, which is a little long. Not too bad though.


 * Maybe don't start sentences with "But". It isn't necessarily wrong, but most teachers would say that it isn't the best way to open a sentence.